Toxic Masculinity and Me

​What iis masculinity? According to the dictionary...

masculinity noun

mas·​cu·​lin·​i·​ty | \ ˌma-skyə-ˈli-nə-tē  \

Definition of masculinity

: the quality or nature of the male sex : the quality, state, or degree of being masculine or manly

There are many characteristics of masculinity such as:

1. strength 

2. courage 

3. independence 

4. leadership 

5. aggression

For me, masculinity was best seen in my favorite television and celluloid leading men. These were men with courage. Men who would take a chance and never gave up. They were tough and strong and were not emotional. Independent.  They were leaders. These men always sought to be the best at what they were. And, invariably, spoke with a baritone voice and got the girl. Perhaps, characters played by the actor, Gary Cooper, best displays this type of masculinity. But then I'm a fan of western films. Oh, yes, the girl part… just the inherent  biological drive to reproduce. 

Where does this masculinity come from? There are two schools of thought on this. And of course the social scientists have their data to verify their opinions. Masculinity is a product of environment or culture some would have us believe. Tribal customs or the modern demand to  “ be a man” create this masculinity or manliness. In other words, develop those characteristics identified with masculinity. Another, and contrasting school of thought, is that these characteristics are inherent in a man’s DNA or biology. He is born with masculine traits.

Perhaps, reality is a little of both.  

There are a number of definitions of toxic masculinity. This is but one. 

Toxic masculinity is when some of these masculine characteristics are emphasized or are out of control. For example when man’s natural aggression is greater than it needs to be. The schoolyard bully comes to mind. He feels that to live up to expectation he must be the king of the hill, the baddest of the bad. It is the degree of aggression which determines what is or is not considered toxic aggression. One could argue that toxic masculinity is not always bad. Indeed, sometimes it is rewarded. For example recipients of our nation’s highest military honor, the Medal of Honor, is frequently awarded to those exhibiting what some would call excessive aggression. Toxic masculinity?

Occasionally, a defense of masculinity comes from surprising people. Note this item from the Guardian. 

Meryl Streep has criticized the phrase ”toxic masculinity”, saying it is offensive to men. “We hurt our boys by calling something toxic masculinity,” she said. 

• There is a movement in education today spurred by social scientists to modify the behavior of boys to become a “kinder,  gentler” sort. No playground fights. Groupthink is encouraged as opposed to reliance on individual decisions.  Boys are also encouraged to show their emotions. No longer are we allowed to say “boys will be boys”.

This seems to me to blur the line between the sexes. A more homogenous group of people. I am not an advocate of toxic masculinity if indeed it does exist. I suppose my real problem is that if our boys are no longer boys, what are they? And who will become the warriors  to protect our freedoms and who will dash into burning  buildings to rescue our children or arrest a rapist? 

BIG CORPORATIONS ARE CRUSHNG THE AMERICAN DREAM

Big corporations are crushing the American dream. In America a person can work hard, with determination and taking advantage of opportunities available  can improve his station in life for himself and his family. 

When I was young my dream was rather simple.  Get an education, get a good job, marry the right girl, start a family, and buy a house. What more could you want? For me and many others this was the American Dream and a big part of that American dream is owning a home. But today that path to the American Dream is in jeopardy.  

The average middle class American dies with less than $10,000 in the bank and usually with considerable debt. His major asset is his home. This asset can be used to settle his estate and leave something for his heirs. But recently the ability to purchase real estate is made more difficult by corporate competition. 

Investment firms have long purchased commercial properties and multifamily housing units. Recently, these corporations have invaded the single family dwelling market. Who are these buyers? One such buyer is Invitation Homes, owned by the  BlackStone Group, the largest real estate owner in the country. In 2012 Invitation Homes went on a $10 billion buying spree and was buying $50 million worth of houses a week. In some cases the corporations buy completed housing developments from the builders. Such as happened in Conroe, Texas, where the builder, D.R. Horton, sold an entire development of new houses for $42 million. Not only are corporations doing this but some billionaires such as Warren Buffet and B. Wayne Hughes, owner of the largest self storage company in the U.S., are buying single family dwellings. 

These big corporations and billionaires aren’t interested in all single family dwellings.  They prefer specific houses in certain locations. These houses are near good schools in good neighborhoods and built preferably since 1970. They would be in cities in the so-called sun belt which include Phoenix, Dallas, and Atlanta. No cities on either coast. These corporations have vast networks and tremendous amounts of data determining what is available for them to buy. Why are they doing this? Actually it's quite simple.  PROFIT!  Real estate investment is one of the safest investments with growth potential. And it tends to appreciate, increase in value, rather quickly. Unlike the individual, they buy when they “want” rather than when they ”need”.  Also the large corporations can borrow money at lower rates than individuals. Due to this they can pay a higher price  for a house and still be profitable because they are using less expensive money for purchasing. Also, frequently the big corporations will pay cash for the houses while the individual has to negotiate a mortgage. 

Once purchased, the rental houses are usually managed by property management firms. Sometimes rather ruthlessly. Rents are raised at phenomenal rates. Sometimes up to 95% in a matter of months. Maintenance is frequently poor and many tenants are  eventually forced to move because of high rents or other problems with landlords. Unfortunately, there is little legislation to protect renters.

In the last ten years salaries of the middle class have remained stagnant while rents and housing costs haves skyrocketed. This is another reason why houses purchased by individuals is at an all time low. And the COVID-19 pandemic has simply made things worse. As mentioned earlier, the average middle class American rarely saves or invests. But there is one thing he does every month with regularity if he has the opportunity. He pays his monthly mortgage payment. In doing so he builds a net worth, cash equity. When at his death can be passed on to his heirs or pay off debts. 

As large corporations buy up more of the single family housing units, fewer are available to middle class Americans.

The American Dream will soon be an unachievable dream.

I WON'T PAY

Photo by Keira Burton from Pexels

I find that the implication that I should pay is totally absurd. Here’s a novel idea. Why not let the person who received the loan repay it. I seem to remember that when I bought a car, I had to pay off the loan myself. How is a tuition loan any different? Of course the collateral can’t be repossessed, but a contract is a contract. Current student debt is $1.39 trillion. And how did it get so great? 

Who qualifies for a federal government student loan?  Almost anyone, citizen or not, can qualify. Although there are some stipulations for non-citizens and those who have been convicted of certain crimes. Interestingly enough, there is no stipulation of income restrictions.  Many recipients of student loans come from upper middle class families. Over $120 billion is provided by the Federal government in student aid.

And what good can come of the government paying off student loans?  Of course the graduate can enter the labor market without a student loan to repay. Wow, good for them! Never mind the fact that many will have degrees with no marketable skills. Consequently, many will be unemployed. And the working Americans who have paid off their tuition debt will be paying them unemployment benefits. However, the country will have a much better educated entitled class! What do we know about entitled classes? They owe their allegiance to their benefactor. And their benefactor In our democratic republic is the political party in power. Creating a larger entitled class ensures greater allegiance to the ruling party. The entitled class show their allegiance in the voting booth. Currently, the Democratic Party is in power. 

This would give me no power. I have no reason to pay. There is no benefit for me. 

The Power of Zuckerbuckd

Nowhere in modern history have we seen the power of the dollar in political contests. The 2020 Presidential election was an prime example of application of capital in determining the outcome of an election. An incumbent President campaigns relentlessly while his opponent is hardly visible. But the supporters of the candidate-in-hiding were clever and without scruples. And they had a well designed plan ready for execution. Only one thing was needed… money, lots of money. Enter a multi-billionaire, Mark Zukerberg. This came as no surprise since Facebook, the brainchild of Zuckerberg, constantly labeled conservative comments as “misinformation”. The cash was distributed from the Chan Zukerberg Initiative to such organizations as the Center for Tech and Civic Life. CTCL is known as a Democratic Party supporter. Money was distributed under the guise “COVID-19 response grants”. However, of this money, earmarked to ensure the safety of pole workers, only 1.9 % actually reached pole workers.The bulk of the funds were used to buy laptops, rent automobiles, attorney fees, and other costs associated with mail-in voting. Election consultants, if I may call them that, have many subtle methods of influencing the vote. On occasion these people would offer their services as voting consultants. They would instruct the locals in voting precinct operations. Usually they would volunteer to fill certain jobs such as supervising the voter registration rolls. They would also canvas prospective voters to determine the voting preferences. They would also visit extended care facilities and use their influence to induce the inhabitants to vote for a particular candidate. All of these efforts were coordinated to produce desired results. The manpower was paid for with Zukerbucks. Zukerbucks were concentrated in Georgia and Wisconsin. Collected data verifies the results of Zukerberg’s investment in the Democratic process. A perfect example of the power of money used in unscrupulous ways in democratic  elections.

An Afternoon in Clinton, New Jersey

It had been a long time since I had been in a barber shop. Actually, I thought they had all become styling salons, particularly after the big hair years of the 1980s. It had been over twenty years since a barber had put his scissors to my hair, when I got the text from Mark saying that he was making haircut appointments  for us at Front Row Barbers at Clinton, New Jersey, I had to agree, although I was quite fond of my well trimmed beard.  Mark, his brother Patrick, and Mark’s son, Nathan, were going to the barber shop and, of course, me. Although I hadn’t seen the inside of a barber shop for a long time did not mean my hair was shoulder length like Patrick’s. My wife, Claudette, had  kept  my  hair  cut  since  our  wedding  in  the  year  2000. Unfortunately, at the age of seventy-seven, I didn’t have much hair on top, but I did have a rather nice looking beard if I might say so myself. That would have to go. Nathan was bearded but Mark was not. The shop was exactly what you would expect in the small New Jersey town.  Small but cozy and clean as a pin. We were welcomed and asked if we wanted any refreshment. I was surprised to find out that the refreshment was bourbon. Mark and Patrick partook but I did not. Bourbon doesn’t mix well with the meds I take. Nathan missed out too—he was in the barber’s chair. 

And then it was my turn to get into the chair. The young barber was personable and quite efficient. He took note of my accent and I had the opportunity to extol the virtues of living in South Carolina. Then he got right down to business, draping me in the protective sheet and tucking paper around my neck. My instructions to him were to remove all the hair from my head except my eyebrows! He followed my instructions to the t. The next sound I heard was the high pitched buzz of an electric razor. He made quick work of removing any stubble left by the clippers. I thought he was finished.  But, I remembered Mark saying that it was to be an old fashioned haircut. The barber put hot lather around my ears and on my neck. He used a straight razor to remove any remaining stubble.  Memories were coming back as I was reclining in the chair.  The witch hazel was cold as ice as he massaged it on my face. I felt the skin on my face tighten up. Then he was gone for a minute or two. He covered my entire face with a hot towel. Not a warm towel but a very, very, hot wet towel. I’m sure it had steam rising from it and I was about to get third degree burns. After my face was properly steamed, he removed the towel and applied the hot lather. With a very sharp straight razor all the facial foliage was removed and another steaming towel removed all traces of lather. I thought I heard an aria from the Barber of Seville. Nah, not in New Jersey. I sat up, got out of the seat and he brushed me off.

Nathan, Patrick, Mark, Tony

It was one of the most pleasurable half hours I’ve ever had!