Are you a snack sneaker? I am. Perhaps a definition is in order.
snack
[snak]
noun
1.
a small portion of food or drink or a light meal, especially one eaten between regular meals.2.
a share or portion.verb (used without object)
4.
to have a snack or light meal, especially between regular meals: They snacked on tea and cake.
sneak-er
1 . one that sneaks2. a sports shoe with a pliable rubber sole
Yes, I am a person who sneaks snacks, a snack sneaker. There are people, I am told, that don't have this problem. Actually there are two kinds of people who don't have this problem. Some (Oh, how I envy them) can et with wild abandon and not gain weight. The other group can eat with wild abandon and become mobile mountains of humanity. And then there are people like me when every waking hour has the temptation to eat but we can't because we feel the need to maintain a reasonable body weight either for health or appearance reasons. Usually the impetus to maintain any such dietary regime is supplied by either self discipline or the discipline on one's significant other. My discipline is split although unequally. My biggest problem is between meal snacks. This is the reason I am a snack sneaker. Over the years I have become quite proficient at sneaking snacks. (Or at least I think I'm proficient.) When my mate is not around is a great time to snack. I still feel like I'm sneaking even though she's not even the house. It's difficult to enjoy something like gorp while listening for the garage door to go up. I lock the door to the garage to impede her progress. You must keep the crunching sounds to a minimum to hear well. One handy trick I've discovered is to have an extra container. I buy an extra container of nuts, when that's is what I'm sneaking out of the pantry. As I eat the nuts from the container in the pantry, I replace the ones I've eaten with ones from my "stash". I have to buy my "stash' with cash because my dear wife checks all credit card receipts.Another problem I have is with the cat, Sophie. I do not like to share my snacks. One of my favorite snacks is string cheese. Sophie loves cheese. She's a mouser though. I think she chases mice because they know where the cheese is. The string cheese comes in the form of a stick in vacuum sealed plastic. I am not positive how Sophie knows when I have a cheese snack but she does. I thought maybe it was the opening of the refrigerator door because when I would get the cheese stick for the frig, she would be right there looking up at me with those big blue eyes pleading. There have been rare occasions when I've retrieved the cheese without her there but as soon as I start to remove the plastic she's there. Once I was able to remove the plastic and hide it in my hoodie pocket from her. But she would not leave. When overcome by hunger I pulled the cheese from my pocket to eat. I had a fine coating of lint. I pulled off the outer layer and gave it to Sophie. She would not eat it! So, what could I do but share. Sophie has developed discriminating tastes. My frugal wife has started buying the store brand of cheese sticks now. Sophie does not prefer these. I get to enjoy more of the less tasty string cheese. I think that there is a female conspiracy. Not all snacks agree with me. There was a certain brand of almonds which gave me a stomach ache. I preserved through the entire package before I acknowledged the ill effect. I also like chocolates and peanut butter. You can dip your finger into the peanut butter jar for a quick snack. Peanut butter breath is a dead giveaway to this sneak. Of course there are healthy snacks. There are carrot sticks and celery sticks and carrot sticks and celery sticks. But these are not fit food for human snack consumption. More like bait for a rodent trap. There are times (Thank goodness there aren't many.) when snack sneaking can have a detrimental effect on marital bliss. For example, when my wife was baking a citrus cake. I had to fess up to having eaten all the macadamia nuts.
I guess I need more training in snack sneaking. Maybe there is a YouTube video. I do have a twelve-year-old friend I could consult with...
