Toxic Masculinity and Me

​What iis masculinity? According to the dictionary...

masculinity noun

mas·​cu·​lin·​i·​ty | \ ˌma-skyə-ˈli-nə-tē  \

Definition of masculinity

: the quality or nature of the male sex : the quality, state, or degree of being masculine or manly

There are many characteristics of masculinity such as:

1. strength 

2. courage 

3. independence 

4. leadership 

5. aggression

For me, masculinity was best seen in my favorite television and celluloid leading men. These were men with courage. Men who would take a chance and never gave up. They were tough and strong and were not emotional. Independent.  They were leaders. These men always sought to be the best at what they were. And, invariably, spoke with a baritone voice and got the girl. Perhaps, characters played by the actor, Gary Cooper, best displays this type of masculinity. But then I'm a fan of western films. Oh, yes, the girl part… just the inherent  biological drive to reproduce. 

Where does this masculinity come from? There are two schools of thought on this. And of course the social scientists have their data to verify their opinions. Masculinity is a product of environment or culture some would have us believe. Tribal customs or the modern demand to  “ be a man” create this masculinity or manliness. In other words, develop those characteristics identified with masculinity. Another, and contrasting school of thought, is that these characteristics are inherent in a man’s DNA or biology. He is born with masculine traits.

Perhaps, reality is a little of both.  

There are a number of definitions of toxic masculinity. This is but one. 

Toxic masculinity is when some of these masculine characteristics are emphasized or are out of control. For example when man’s natural aggression is greater than it needs to be. The schoolyard bully comes to mind. He feels that to live up to expectation he must be the king of the hill, the baddest of the bad. It is the degree of aggression which determines what is or is not considered toxic aggression. One could argue that toxic masculinity is not always bad. Indeed, sometimes it is rewarded. For example recipients of our nation’s highest military honor, the Medal of Honor, is frequently awarded to those exhibiting what some would call excessive aggression. Toxic masculinity?

Occasionally, a defense of masculinity comes from surprising people. Note this item from the Guardian. 

Meryl Streep has criticized the phrase ”toxic masculinity”, saying it is offensive to men. “We hurt our boys by calling something toxic masculinity,” she said. 

• There is a movement in education today spurred by social scientists to modify the behavior of boys to become a “kinder,  gentler” sort. No playground fights. Groupthink is encouraged as opposed to reliance on individual decisions.  Boys are also encouraged to show their emotions. No longer are we allowed to say “boys will be boys”.

This seems to me to blur the line between the sexes. A more homogenous group of people. I am not an advocate of toxic masculinity if indeed it does exist. I suppose my real problem is that if our boys are no longer boys, what are they? And who will become the warriors  to protect our freedoms and who will dash into burning  buildings to rescue our children or arrest a rapist?