Living with CHF

It was about fifteen years ago when I saw my doctor, a general practitioner, about my shortness of breath.  I was in my late fifties. I didn't think it was anything serious. After all, Mom and Dad had both lived to the ripe old age of ninety-three. Daddy's major medication when he passed away was a baby aspirin.  But after tests and hospitalization I was diagnosed.  I will always remember when my height challenged Italian doctor spoke in a calm almost undertaker voice and said, "Mr. Tony, many people that gave the same condition as you live long lives with proper medication." I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.  All I knew about the disease was that I saw in the obituaries that people died from it.  Claudette, my wife was more upset than I was. She had consulted "Mr. Google".  According to this electronic fount of knowledge people with CHF only had a life expectancy of three years after diagnosis. She had lost one husband to a heart attack and did not fancy losing another to heart problems. By the way, she was not immediately forthcoming with the knowledge obtained from "Mr. Google." It was several years before I found this out.    How did I react? I thought about my situation while I was looking at the ceiling of a hospital room. (I was hospitalized a few days during my diagnosis.) I took a close look at my mortality. I had a "come to Jesus" moment much like I had once before when I awoke with a cockroach crawling across my face while lying flat of my back on the floor of a somewhat untidy apartment.  But that is another story. I evaluated my relationship with the Almighty and decided I could be a better follower. I decided that Christianity was not a spectator endeavor and became more involved. Secular wise I followed my doctors' instructions explicitly. I exercise daily and try to eliminate stress. Although my heart is very weak, I don't want to do anything to weaken it further. Managing my medications is one of my goals.  I don't like pills. Taking flaxseed and fish oil capsules have eliminated the need for cholesterol medication. Recently, we have converted to a plant-based diet which I believe will improve my health further. 

I think living with a deadly disease  is a combination of spiritual and physical care. About death,  I think the great general of the American Civil War, Thomas J. Jackson, put it best when he said:"My religious belief teaches me to feel as safe in battle as in bed. God has fixed the time for my death. I do not concern myself about that, but to be always ready, no matter when it may overtake me. That is the way all men should live, and then all would be equally brave."

art work by me, a computer mono print