Miltenberg and free beer!

"I knew a guy named Milton once," I said.

"Was he German?" she asked.

"Redneck, I think," I answered.

"From your childhood, no doubt," Claudette said.

"So...I don't reckon Miltenburg, Germany, was named for him," I surmised.

We were on the Grand European River Cruise, three rivers and five countries. Claudette and I had left our Viking ship docked on the Main River and were navigating the cobblestone streets of a town that had survived the Middle Ages.   There was a mist in the air and it was a slippery uphill walk, not always easy for  man with CHF. I had an umbrella from the ship. It had become my habit to pick up one as we left the ship. They were nice and big and red.  At the ship they divided us up into tour groups.  One of the groups was "less strenuous", but we didn't join that one. In such situations, I'm always reminded of a line from "Dirty Harry".  "A man's got to know his limitations." At the top of the hill, or rather almost to the top, we saw the ancient walls of the town with guard tower.  The houses along the wall used the wall for the back wall of their houses. They were small and cottage-like with colorful gardens. I stopped  before reaching the top of the hill.  Claudette continued on for about seventy-five feet to see a Jewish cemetery. (For some reason all our tour guides pointed out Jewish cemeteries.)  We followed our guide along the wall for a few hundred feet before returning to nearer the river.

Our guide, Eva, said, " Much of Miltenberg was destroyed by warfare but not in the usual way. During the Thirty Years War between the Protestants and Catholics the occupying armies had destroyed most of the housing. They tore down the houses to burn for firewood. That was in the seventeenth century."

"Maybe that's why most of the houses here are of half-timber construction," I said.

"Like we saw in Rouen, France?" said Claudette.

"And England too," I added.

"But not in Spain, Turkey, Italy, or Morocco?" She queried.

"I didn't see any there," I said.

Miltenberg is renowned for its half-timbered houses.  When I think of Bavaria I always think of half timbered houses. This very old construction method consists of building a framework of timber and filling in the empty spaces with other material.  Virtually anything can be used. The facades of the gabled buildings appear to be a patchwork. Several of the buildings had lettering on the outside with verse, and some depicted the number of children in the family. Many of the buildings had statues of the Virgin Mary or the Holy Family. They were brilliantly painted and many wee gilded. I was under the impression that Germany was predominantly Protestant  since the Protestant Reformation began there. But, alas, my thinking was in error.   We visited the city hall, which was a stone structure with a fountain that seemed to operate intermittently. It was mildly fascinating to watch. One of the most interesting things I saw was the old water well. It was a rectangular opening in the street with steps leading down from either end. A villager would walk down the steps and dip the water from the well. The town square should appear on every postcard from Miltenberg. It is picture perfect with a large fountain surrounded by half-timber buildings and a church with a spire and the far end of the cobblestone street.

After the tour was over we met with our friends in a restaurant for beer. It was cool and dark with very few customers. The ship's Activities Director, Chantal, was there as well. She said that our departure was delayed.  We had gotten off the ship in Miltenberg but would board it in Wertheim after our tour.  Chantal decided to treat us to free beer.  There must have been over one hundred fifty in the combined tour groups.  Not only was the beer free but it was served at Zum Riesen, one the oldest if not the oldest inn in Germany. The beer was dark and smooth, but before I reached the bottom of the one litre mug it was time to go.  We would catch the Viking ship, Kara, in Wertheim. It had been an enjoyable visit to the Bavarian town of Miltenberg.

Eva's humorous recitation:

There once was a very wealthy man in Miltenberg named Werner who had an attractive but not very smart servant girl. This servant girl had to be given exact instructions about everything. One day when the rich man was very busy, she kept asking him, "What do you want me to do?  What do you want me to do?   What do you want me to do? 

He became very upset and said, "Just go and stick you rear end out the window!" 

 And so she did! Later, he realized what he had told her to do and asked, "What did people say when they saw your rear end sticking out of the window"   

With a smile she said, "Good morning, Herr Werner!"