Vegie What?

As I grow older I’m becoming more aware of the changes in my life. Am I getting to know myself? So far I like me all right, but some changes are causing a little alarm. For example: I think I may be a vegetarian. I seem to have some latent tendencies in that direction. In my heart I’m a grits ’n’ gravy guy. I was born below the Mason-Dixon Line, and the blood of those who wore the grey at Gettysburg runs through my veins. But recently I ate at a vegetarian restaurant, and…I liked it. Fortunately, we were on vacation, and no one that saw me knew who I was. Have you ever noticed what kind of people you see in vegetarian restaurants? They usually wear handmade jewelry and Birkenstocks, and they are always slim. For some reason I have an innate distrust of skinny people. But, there I was at the corner table eating a grilled tofu sandwich while non-country music was playing in the background.


Think about it. What is tofu? It is bean curd made from soybean milk. The whole idea is kind of crazy. One could question how one would milk a soybean, but I guess that would be utterly ridiculous. Curdling, I think, is another word for spoiling or “going bad”. I know this explanation of tofu sounds a bit unsavory, but I liked the taste of the grilled bean curd! This sandwich had black bean spread, bean sprouts, and other unmentionables, but the tomatoes and lettuce I recognized. Now I like beans; butter beans or string beans cooked all day with a piece of fatback. I don’t like bean sprouts. Bean sprouts are beans on the way to becoming bean plants and are harvested before reaching the plant stage. It’s similar to an abortion of the vegetable kind. I don’t think that’s very Christian.

But I like meat; beef, pork, poultry or wild game. I mean, that’s what men eat. You wouldn’t see Sly Stallone ordering black bean cakes, or, can you imagine Bruce Willis asking the cook not to leave his tofu on the grill too long? And would Duke Wayne have ever said, “I’ll have that hummus on pita bread, Little Lady.”? I don’t think so.



But, what should I do?



I will remain a closet vegetarian…I already have Birkenstocks!


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                        Some Items You May see in a Vegetarian Restuarant

• ciabatta-a type of open-textured bread made with olive oil
• falafel-an appetizer or snack consisting of a small croquette made with fava-bean flour or ground chick peas, seasoned with toasted sesame seeds and salt, often served in pita bread.
• pesto-a sauce typically made with basil, pine nuts, olive oil, and grated Parmesan blended together and served hot or cold over pasta, fish, or meat.
• mole-a spicy sauce flavored with chocolate, usually served with turkey or chicken.
• tahini-a paste made of ground sesame seeds.
• chapatti-a flat pancakelike bread, usually of whole-wheat flour, baked on a griddle.
• chickpea-Also called garbanzo. a widely cultivated plant, Cicer arietinum,  of the legume family, bearing pods containing pealike seeds.
• tempeh-a fermented soybean cake.